Haiku mania (575!)

As always, a weekend in the company of Matt and Paul brings about a trip to Remington's to shake and shimmy it a bit, multiple restaurant visits with large portions of dessert, and a modest amount of alcohol. This trip was markedly special because of the latest trend in haiku-making, inspired by Matt's original haiku creation that for some reason involved excrement located inconveniently in the corner. I wish I could explain it further, the laws of sanity complicate things a bit.

Matt's original haiku
I wrote a haiku
And it was started like this:
Poop in the corner


Sleep-deprived haiku
Three hours of sweet sleep
Translating god's words for you
Damn you homo-fries !!!
(Composed in remembrance of a 4:00a.m. trip to get hobo-fries ((a.k.a. disco-fries)), which resulted in a pun by changing the word "hobo" to "homo" due to it's striking similarity in texture and color to male homosexual behavior -- the debauchery that ensued at the 24-hour diner resulted in me only getting an inexcusable 3 hours of beauty rest before standing by the altar of the Spirit at All Soul's to interpret the following morning)


Falcor haiku
Falcor was a dog
Well he was a dragon dog
Maybe just my dog
(for a full understanding of the hilarity that it so caused by a small dog named Falcor, please visit: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pC3n-LC3Em4 )


Random carnivorous haiku
Can I have your meat?
Your bacon for a dollar
Take it up the front
(On a previous trip to the 24-hour diner a drunk frat boy ((redundant?)) stopped at our table to inquire about Matt's meat, a.k.a. his bacon, and attempted ((successfully)) to purchase the strips. Later, when presented with the bill, our waiter instructed us to "take it up the front". Naturally, everyone at the table was quite puzzled as we had always taken it up the ... ok you get the idea)


Erectile dysfunction haiku
Penis malfunction
Modern science has the cure:
Mycoxaphlopin
(A clever play on words by Dr. Paul on an imaginary medicine to relieve the most grievous of maladies that infects the male population)


Menstruating haiku
Christie and her box
Birthing hips unfulfilled
It weeps tears of blood
(At the diner a certain eruption occurred due to a waiter's failure to bring a take-away box with the meal, and instead bringing Christie's entire meal in 2 separate take-away boxes without a plate. Christie, while experiencing a flux in hormones and neurotransmitters that induce calmness, was less than pleased)


Here's my haiku blog
I hope you found it funny
If not then f#&@ you!