Masturbate-a-thon

Title of the Yahoo! News headline:
"Hundreds expected to come to Masturbate-a-thon"

Now were they just being naughty, or do I read too much into things? And why do they have this section of the webpage labeled "Offbeat" news ???

Apparently for safe sex purposes, Marie Stropes International of Britain is hosting a fund"raise"er to increase awareness of HIV, AIDS, and just how gross it is to see some people jerking off.

Different rooms will be set up (comfort area, mixed area, and male or female-only rooms), participants must be 18 or older (I'd suggest a limit up to 40), and "the amount you raise depends on how many minutes you masturbate and/or how many orgasms you achieve".

First of all, this is obvious discrimination against men since we can pop the cork within a minute and general take at least a half-hour to recharge the batteries.

The police in Britain have given their approval *clap clap clap* ... wait, or is it *slap slap slap* ? I'm sure that Scotland Yard will be on "hand" to oversee the sea of flesh (remember, British police dont carry pistols, just nightsticks - ironically, the participants will already be beating themselves).

Now, will we allow our American prudery to interfere with a worthwhile cause to education, enlighten, and encourage public masturbation? NO, we must refrain from blowing our load of conservative discreteness in their faces.

To anyone who takes issue with the Brits, all I can say is- "Get a grip".