A National Museum is the best place in the world to collect interesting blog material. It is a collective embodiment of American life; the feats, the accomplishments, the horrific acts of human cruelty … nothing could be better.
And what more?!? The throngs of people who come to gawk at the enormous displays … or to sit in the McDonald's food court and wearily rub their trampled soles (maybe some soul-rubbing would get them out of McDonald's?).
Ramblings and Observations of the National Air & Space Museum:
Highest jump every recorded: 8 feet and one-half inch.
Now that is impressive, and an excellent way to get around those damned tourists who stand tenaciously on the left-hand side of escalators during rush hour.
"Jellyfish project themselves by contracting their bodies and expelling water"
Well, the last time I peed in the ocean I didn't project much, except for a warm patch that was still observed 5 minutes later by an old lady who mistook it for a hot spring.
Diapers for astronauts
In flight and spacewalks astronauts wear a "fecal containment system" (isn't that basically just a big toilet strapped around your waste? er … waist?) and a "urine collection and transfer assembly". Damn … those are fancy names for a crapper and piss tube, lord. Incidentally, there was a fecal bag on display just below a toothbrush … skank-nasty, friends.
Virginity rocks
I passed a post-adolescent male wearing a shirt that proudly stated "Virginity rocks!" My immediate thought was, "No it doesn't! It blows!!! Wait … then again, no it doesn't …"
Packing for flight
Astronauts take more care packing for their missions then we do for our flimsy 30,000 foot adventures in the air:
-Shark repellent – holy crap!!! We can send a man to the moon in search of extra-terrestrial life, but we still haven't found a way to solve that pesky "fish-eat-man" issue.
-Nylon parachute line – this thing looked like a mini-noose. Perhaps it is the more pleasant option should the repellent run dry.
-Waterproof matches – you've fought off the shark, hung your fellow astronaut friend so you don't have to split the rations, and now you really need a smoke.
Wright brothers
Did you know that the Wright brothers repaired bicycles before learning to defy gravity? Bike boys in flight; suddenly I'm reminded of E.T.
Planet Symbols
On one large wall of the museum there are the various symbols for the planets. Not surprisingly, the symbol for Venus is the traditional "female" sign (circle plus cross), and for Mars it is the sign for "male" (circle plus arrow).
What caught my attention was the sign for Uranus: an exact copy of the "male" symbol, except with a big dot (or puncture?) directly in the center of the hole. In essence- a pierced male. Coincidence? I think not. Copernicus knew what was up. No astronomer could possibly fondle a large cylindrical object all day without getting a bit dirty.
And what more?!? The throngs of people who come to gawk at the enormous displays … or to sit in the McDonald's food court and wearily rub their trampled soles (maybe some soul-rubbing would get them out of McDonald's?).
Ramblings and Observations of the National Air & Space Museum:
Highest jump every recorded: 8 feet and one-half inch.
Now that is impressive, and an excellent way to get around those damned tourists who stand tenaciously on the left-hand side of escalators during rush hour.
"Jellyfish project themselves by contracting their bodies and expelling water"
Well, the last time I peed in the ocean I didn't project much, except for a warm patch that was still observed 5 minutes later by an old lady who mistook it for a hot spring.
Diapers for astronauts
In flight and spacewalks astronauts wear a "fecal containment system" (isn't that basically just a big toilet strapped around your waste? er … waist?) and a "urine collection and transfer assembly". Damn … those are fancy names for a crapper and piss tube, lord. Incidentally, there was a fecal bag on display just below a toothbrush … skank-nasty, friends.
Virginity rocks
I passed a post-adolescent male wearing a shirt that proudly stated "Virginity rocks!" My immediate thought was, "No it doesn't! It blows!!! Wait … then again, no it doesn't …"
Packing for flight
Astronauts take more care packing for their missions then we do for our flimsy 30,000 foot adventures in the air:
-Shark repellent – holy crap!!! We can send a man to the moon in search of extra-terrestrial life, but we still haven't found a way to solve that pesky "fish-eat-man" issue.
-Nylon parachute line – this thing looked like a mini-noose. Perhaps it is the more pleasant option should the repellent run dry.
-Waterproof matches – you've fought off the shark, hung your fellow astronaut friend so you don't have to split the rations, and now you really need a smoke.
Wright brothers
Did you know that the Wright brothers repaired bicycles before learning to defy gravity? Bike boys in flight; suddenly I'm reminded of E.T.
Planet Symbols
On one large wall of the museum there are the various symbols for the planets. Not surprisingly, the symbol for Venus is the traditional "female" sign (circle plus cross), and for Mars it is the sign for "male" (circle plus arrow).
What caught my attention was the sign for Uranus: an exact copy of the "male" symbol, except with a big dot (or puncture?) directly in the center of the hole. In essence- a pierced male. Coincidence? I think not. Copernicus knew what was up. No astronomer could possibly fondle a large cylindrical object all day without getting a bit dirty.
1 comment:
Great work.
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