A Weekend with Dr. Paul

Random quotes/tid-bits from a fun-filled weekend with Dr. Paul last March:

"How would you feel a lump in that?"
Referring to ... oh god only knows what. Either a banana or a melon, but it involved fruit in some capacity!

High school Latin Club scavenger hunt
Certainly a way to carpe diem- Paul used to be a member of the Latin Club, "Latin" being short for "Less Awkward Than Introverted Nerds" (or are they?) that led earnest scavenger hunts throughout the city in search of clues, declensions, and a reason to wake up the following morning.

Aerobics room
While attending a fancy-schmancy reception for the hospital, one couldn't help but notice that the area/room used for dining was marked in one exterior hallway as the aerobics room. This is the one area of the hospital where I imagine bending over won't result in a sharp needle being shoved into your buttocks (what happens in the showers, however, is anyone's guess).

"We are the gayest people in this church!"
The aforementioned aerobics room was actually a church converted (wink) into a multipurpose room (eat, sweat, and ... well, whatever happens in the shower)

"Oh my god Norah!"
As Dr. Paul and I were practically the only two gay men in a room of complete WASPs, we felt it our duty to gasp and clasp hands like 12-year-old teenie-boppers at an NSYNC concert and scream.

"That is what you use alpaca fibers for - feel it bitch, feel it! That's what alpaca's for!!!!"
An exuberant Dr. Paul was insistent that I feel his scarf made of alpaca fibers. Immediately after, he took me to his backyard where his neighbors keep their alpacas. It was like giving me a beautiful emerald necklace and then showing me the dead grandmother's body where he had ripped the jewelry from. Nice.

"Are you saying we have gay alpaca?"
Perhaps it is in their nature, or the contagious gaiety about me, but upon notice that they had visitors to the backyard the alpacas began sniffing and moving in slightly erogenous ways.

Deaf child area
After seeing this sign on the road I kept my eyes peeled for a gathering of deaf children. It seemed, however, that the herd (wink) had moved on...

My to do list: learn Chinese, testicular exam
After consultation with Dr. Paul it was very clear to me that there were two things on my extensive and ever-growing to-do list that needed to be completed before the end of the weekend. Learning Chinese was a breeze, but that testicular exam proved to be long and hard.

Blueberry pancakes and my new wife....
It is rare that I would promise my affections to the opposite sex. The blueberry pancakes of a local diner, however, had me in a matrimonial tizzy on Saturday morning. I could live out the rest of my sex life depending on alcohol and a face-mask of Brad Pitt, right?

"I'm gonna get loads and loads of juicy bloody cootch"
By far the most outrageous quote of the weekend, in vulgarity and in just plain ewww-ness, Dr. Paul comments on his next rotation in his residency. Sadly, this would also be the fate that befalls me should I accept the offer of free blueberry pancakes for life. But I got the better end (wink) of this deal; at least I can practice medicine in the dark.