What the f*#%???

-Passing a group of tourists who were on a paid professional tour … and admiring the features of a parking lot.

-Two signs: the first, “Traffic calming area”, followed quickly by “Humps”. What’s so calming about that?!?

-A deranged man on the Q2 bus, who chuckled at invisible objects for about 30 minutes and then abruptly turned to me to ask, “Are you Jewish?”

-A man in the Greyhound bus station doing unnecessarily loud yoga in the middle of the waiting area (pants, moans, and other uncomfortable noises that you would rather hear in a porno, and not while sitting next to a scary homeless man picking his feet)

-Wondering what “folate” is, and why there is 30% of it in an orange juice bottle.

-A man on the Metro carrying a sign and swinging it in a hypnotic fashion, reading “The Vatican hides pedophiles”.

-Quote from a Wheat Thins box: “try this delicious, entertaining recipe with your family and friends … refried red beans with tomato and poblano”. I suppose the aftermath of this recipe would be entertaining to some families, like that of the Nutty Professor.

-Seeing “valet parking” at a hospital

-Driving past the Happy Tails dog spa … what?

-Passing a group of young blondes on the street, when one of them comments, “Oh my god! I don’t even know what a good IQ is!!!”