E.T. replaced by W.W.J.D. alien

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/24598508/

The Vatican's top astronomer has given a hearty two thumbs up to the belief that extra-terrestrial life could exist on other planets due to the universe's enormity and the limitless power of God's creativity.

Reverend Funes is the director of the Vatican Observatory (which immediately springs to mind a giant eyeball ... quite like Sauron's in Lord of the Rings ... *cough* ... Holy See, indeed....), and believes that alien life would not contradict the Catholic faith.

Had this been the 17th century, Funes would probably have been burned at the stake or placed under house arrest like Galileo for his astronomical views. But in an age where pollution is a sin and indulgences are just an old-fashioned fad, perhaps it is time to readjust our telescopes to see how religion, science, and reality can become the new holy trinity of the 21st century.

Following the precedent of the Vatican, we can expect to see a religious race into the galaxy quite like the great space race of the 1960s -- except this time it will be with the Pope at the helm ... like Jean-Luc Picard with a very tall head-piece.

***Space ... the final frontier. These are the voyages of the Starship Vatican-O ... Its continuing mission: to explore strange new worlds (provided they do not challenge its theology or doctrine), to seek out new life and new civilizations (unless they are witches, in which case teleport some more firewood), to boldly go where no Pope has gone before!!! (excluding nude-y bars and 3-star hotels) ***

Bishop #1: "Captain!!! We have an enemy craft approaching sector 8.27"
Pope: "On screen."
***appears a tan, muscular man with elaborate machinery in shades of pink and lavender scantily covering his private parts***
Homo-Borg #1: "We are the Homo-Borg. You cannot resist us. You will be ASSimilated. Resistance is futile."
***the two spacecrafts exchange firepower of holy water, rainbow-painted missiles, crucifixes, CDs of ABBA and the YMCA, flaming candles, and Martinis***

Yikes!!!

Upon discovery of intelligent alien life, the Pope descends from his spaceship and extends his arms ... "I have come to bring you the good news of a savior who is a carbon-based life-form completely dissimilar from you and everything you know -- but nevertheless you must believe in him or perish in the fire of eternal damnation ..."

Upon quick review of the Church's oopsies! and boo-boos! during the Inquisition and the unfortunate killings and blatant corruptions throughout its history, the aliens decide that the best course of action would be to vaporize the Silly-Hat Man immediately and then go get some breakfast.

Perhaps we should hold off on the whole "intergalactic missionary work" thing for right now, and concentrate on things closer to home. After all Mr. Pope, things like Mars, Jupiter- hell, even Uranus- are yet to be explored ...