The following is a collection of random thoughts and questions I accumulated over the summer. I need to find something better to do with my time, like take up bass fishing or learn how to do pottery like in Ghost.
-Does the National Institute for the Blind in Baltimore care about its building's architectural design? Was the architect blind? Are there statues of 3 mice on the front lawn?
-Why is a firetruck considered a hazmat? Is water hazardous? Or are the men inside the truck "dangerous"? *Sweating*, 4-alarm fire, someone put me out with their hose ...
-Krispy Kreme bacon cheeseburgers (the donuts are the bread); an unnatural combination of foods that were never intended to be united as one (quite like pickles and ice cream, pineapple and pizza, and Richard Simmons with a woman).
-Digestive disease week, May 19-24. Examples: (1) cyclic vomiting syndrome (woah ... is that like when dogs eat grass, puke it up, and then eat it again?), (2) intestinal obstruction (when this happens repeatedly over the course of a few minutes, the anecdote is keeping your clothes on), and (3) Whipple's disease (what a cute name for a baby!).
-What do they do if you're so overweight that you can't fit through the frame of a metal detector anymore? Is that why they keep a can of Crisco at every checkpoint in Washington DC?
-Why is that tourist woman taking a picture of her husband when all he's doing is drinking from a water fountain?
-Why did they change the name of "Uh-Oh Oreo" cookies back to "Golden Oreos" and then label packages with either chocolate-filled or vanilla-filled? Maybe people thought the Uh-Oh Cookies were actual mistakes of the Nabisco factory?
-When you're in a locked one-person public bathroom and someone knocks on the door, what are you supposed to say? "You're just gonna have to hold it buddy!" or "I hope you brought something to read cuz this might take me a while!". Or perhaps "One word there for ya mister ... Lysol. LY-SOL!"
-Why does Caribou Coffee have pictures of outhouses in their bathroom? Do people put pictures of Porta Potties in their outhouses? Do people put pictures of a hole in the ground in their Porta Potties? What do they put in Porta Potties? (certainly not an air freshener)
-Why is the company that provides fuel to the Greyhound busses named "Gas Boy"? I thought I had already claimed this title ... I smell copyright infringment, and it stinks.
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Who is this Cookie Boy ???
2 comments:
Oh Gas Boy,
I may have some answers!!
Obviously, water is not a HazMat (although my high school chemistry teacher once got a bunch of people to sign a petition to get dihydrogen oxide out of our drinking water). Fire trucks say that one them because they have the equipment needed to handle a chemical hazard and, in many places like DC, the Fire Department would be the ones responsible for decontamination.
Oops, sorry. I pressed Publish when I meant to hit Show Original Post. Yes, they sound nothing alike and are in different places on the screen, but I just started my first cup of coffee, alright?!
I have had my picture taken in front of a water fountain before. In other countries, they're not very easy to find, if available at all. When you're used to having easy access to water that's suddenly taken away, you're very happy to get it back again! Or maybe they were tourists and though it was really funny that you can drink water from a tap in the middle of the sidewalk!
I think Golden Oreos sound like they've been through a golden shower. I'd rather eat an Oreo mistake than an Oreo that... well, yuck.
And the thought of eating a Krispy Kreme bacon cheeseburger makes my heart want to stop beating in protest.
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