Interpreting

30,000 professional sign language interpreters across the United States experience something on a daily basis that most other professionals do not have to face. Like a mouse in a maze, ASL terps are sent through a dizzying array of twisted passageways, dead-ends, frustrations, and conflicting instructions before we finally reach the end of our hunt and secure our prize. Although instead of a piece of cheese, interpreters get a person who is deaf.

David's Story: Deaf patient at a medical facility

"Oh what a good day to be a communication facilitator and provide access to language!" David takes in a deep, satisfying breath and asks the front desk attendant where he can find Mr. SoNso to provide him with the interpematation.

"You're a what?"

"A sign language interpreter."

Blank stare.

"I interpret for people who are deaf."

"Dead people? Why do they need an interpreter? They're dead!"

"No sir, DEAF ... as in a person who cannot hear? Namely yourself?" (last question was interior monologue)

"Hmm ... yes ..." *ruffles papers and tries to look knowledgeable* "Yes ... oh here we go. Yes, go to the part of the hospital called 'International Relations'."

Blank stare ... this time from David.

The interpreter, puzzled and quite confident that International Relations has nothing to do with deafness, spends a significant amount of time hunting down the IR office. Upon entering, David sees flags of multiple nationalities adorning the wall, as well as informative pamphlets on foreigners' rights (or non-rights?) to medical care in the great U.S.of.A.holes.

Two individuals, speaking with accents that are definitely of foreign nature, turn with helpful expressions to the interpreter.

"Ah ... yes ... I'm a sign language interpreter and I'm here to interpret for a person who is deaf."

Blank stares.

"Is this the right place?"

They look at the interpreter as if he had just undid his pants and started using Jim Carrey ass-speak. "Sir, what you want is Patient Advocacy."

Another 10 minutes later David finds himself in the Patient Advocacy office, only to find that the assignment had been cancelled.

This cheese stinks.