Thunder from down under

Article: http://www.ynetnews.com/articles/0,7340,L-3509263,00.html, entitled "Homosexual activity cause of earthquake, Shas MK says"

Sigh ... oh this is too much to pass up.

Apparently "homosexual activity", which can be broadly defined as any activity that a homosexual does (like public service, establishing a non-profit organization for education, and attending church), is the cause of a recent earthquake that has shaken several towns in Israel.

This particular earthquake only hit 5.3 on the Dickter scale (is that all? *disappointed* I need a measurement of at least 6.0 to get me going haha j/k), and lasted 19 seconds (typical *tsk*- all that trembling and then nothing!). This shift in the earth's tectonic plates is indickative of the consequences brought on by a country that is tolerating a gay movement (meaning limp wrists? I don't know...) that has been likened to the bird flu epidemic (what bird? a cock?).

Do whaaaat? The gay movement (and hell, we've been moving since the beginning of time!) is a "plague that could destroy Jewish Israel" and should be treated "just as the Health Ministry dealt with the bird flu epidemic." *car tires screeching to a halt*

Well, gay people have been victimized by oppression and attacks from "outside" peoples for centuries - of course a person who's Jewish wouldn't understand how that feels... *coughing profusely*

So how do we eradickate this most vile and dangerous disease? Well the last time Jewish people dealt with a ghastly plague they were protected by painting sheep's blood over their doorways (to which Mr. Sheep abruptly looks up and says "I beg your fuckin' pardon? Oh hell no! Baaaaaa!!!"). Suddenly an image of Moses came to me, him standing on a mountaintop stick-in-hand demanding "Let my homos go!"

Perhaps the persons who agree with this condemnation should reconsider the Old Testament passages that deal with the justification of slavery and limited women's rights? Yes, yes- "all of those are taken out of context". Yeah well, when y'all decide to stop playing scripture-a-la-carte with holy texts, you just let me know.

For serious, how much more ridickulous can this get? First gays are responsible for the burning of Sodom and incurring the wrath of god, and now we are to blame for natural-- err, I mean (super)natural disasters! Are we that powerful? Do we piss off the Creator that much?

Damn ... I should start building that ark I've been planning right away! First things first, though- I need a crew that's got plenty of seamen.