Mamma mia !!!

Wouldn’t it be easier if we could all wear a sign that indicated our relationship status?

“I’m single and looking”
“I’ve just gotten out of a long-term relationship and am looking for a rebounder”
“I’m in an open relationship”

It would save time and emotional energy. It would also keep us from embarrassing situations to laugh about later.

I was having a few beers (I discovered Snakebites on Friday) with my sister when a very hunky Italian waiterboy was assigned to our table. My “I am single” eyes went to work, but I was frustrated that my sister may be giving off the maybe-he’s-straight?-vibe that could ruin my groove (who am I kidding?).

My darling sibling decided to intervene and make it clear that we were not dating.

My sister is as smooth as I am on the dating scene (please refer to earlier blogs to understand the sarcasm of this remark). As he approached our table and inquired as to the likeability of our beverages, my sweet sissy said:

“Oh, our mom would just love these!”

I was mortified.

She may as well have said: “Oh, the woman whose womb brought forth both myself and my drinking companion, and later suckled to her bosom in motherly love and care, would truly enjoy these beers as only a mother could do!”

In any event, the venom of my Snakebite took to the brain and I left my number on the credit card receipt. He did not call.

No worries – those Italians are such momma’s boys anyways.