Nutrition for kids

One of the main perks of doing a practicum at an elementary school (besides feeling like a genius because you know your times tables) is the occasional fieldtrip to the places you've always wanted to go but have never wanted to pay for.

One such fieldtrip was to Baltimore's Science Museum, a hands-on explosion of colors and sounds intended to entertain kids and tempt adults (and yes, I admit, even I lay on the bed of nails – and I made a tornado – and I put on an astronaut suit – and I played on the balance beam - and security had to come for me).

And then the most anticipated moment of the day; free lunch! To save a penny, our school personnel had packed a "complete" meal for these starving little ones. When I say complete, or even meal for that matter, I imagine a modest sampling of food from the major food groups (rendering a balanced diet to meet the demands of small bodies and even smaller minds).

Instead, our fatty toddler feast consisted of: a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, a small bag of Lay's potato chips, 2 medium-sized cookies, and an easily-disposable apple (seriously – Adam and Eve would have been pissed).

Even the (moderately healthy) bread of the sandwiches was thrown away! I saw children ravenously strip the peanut butter right off and gobble it ferociously while dipping their potato chips in mayonnaise and polishing it all off with a double-decker cookie-chaser.

It's like the kids have a lard-locator within their (minute) cerebral cortex that can locate, identify, and obliterate any remains of sugar and fat within a five mile radius.

What are we feeding these monsters? We have gone from "the breast is best" to "the fat is phat". It's insane …